We all experience feeling ashamed. Shame is emotional but merges into the realm of our thought patterns and most importantly our identity.
Shame makes you want to hide to stop feeling it where guilt will make you seek out a solution to stop feeling it.
It can be so hard to release because it feels like you are bad at your core. Your core or center is the Solar Plexus chakra. Shame takes up the place confidence should.
There is a range of “Shame” you can feel varying from mild to extreme. Shame ranges from emotions from humiliation and embarrassment, feeling bad about yourself, feeling self-conscious about your appearance and your ability to succeed, being excluded from the group, being exposed and unworthy,
Shame is useful when we use it to be held accountable about how to act in public or in social settings. It can also be used to help us hold ourselves to expectations in a healthy way, we are able to learn and grow from shame.
Shame hinders our self-esteem. Our self-esteem is built on purposeful behavior, pride in achievement, and shared joy. According to Dr. Joseph Burgo, Shame is broken down into Unrequited love, Exclusion, Unwanted Exposure and Disappointed Expectation. To get rid of the shameful feelings that arise, people will avoid, deny, or control as a strategy to mask or moderate exposure to the pain of shame.
SHAME FROM OTHERS
Shame felt from a change in fortune or relationship that involves losing something we highly valued. (humiliation/ashamed)
People can experience shame through abusive relationships with others.
Growing up in a home that didn’t instill safety, confidence, or individual expression.
· Having a domineering or hyper critical parent
· Shame is being humiliated
· Ridiculed Infront of others or by someone we value or
· Shame can be a projection by another person seeing the individuality of someone else as some kind of threat to their identity
· Shame can be a form of control, to keep things ‘comfortable’ to the ego
SHAME FROM OURSELVES
· Shameful of something done in the past
· Critical internal voice
· Judgmental of others
Hard on mental health
The brain gut connection is so significant for obsessive thoughts around shame and how our view of ourselves can impact every aspect of our lives
· Anxiety, depression, addiction to escape from feelings of inadequacy or criticism whether internal or external
· Needing to create a ‘safe world’ that is alone and free of judgement, ridicule
· It separates us from ourselves which in turn separates us from others
· This means when we are filled with shame we are less likely to reach out to others.
· This all feeds the shame cycle.
· Social Anxiety, how the more you expect these things to happen the more you will be shown and then much harder it is to get back out there
It can be hard to change something that feels like it is you
Restoring the relationship to the self and the self to the world in a way where the self feels the center of the world again
Finding this place of inner courage, the inner warrior – ridding yourself of responsibility rids you of your power to create change.
Challenge your conditioning
Observing negative self-talk and make it conscious
Through letting the ‘mind identity’ be truth we sabotage our consciousness; you are not your thoughts you are the one observing them
Solar plexus- translates to hidden gems, you are a gem
Setting goals for ourselves, starting out with something small, and not only achieving them but feeling a sense of pride about accomplishing this. Starting with something small can allow us to set bigger goals and feel as though we can honestly achieve them. It is important to have people in your life who can share this joy with you but that wouldn’t be enough, you must believe it and feel that you can accomplish anything you want yourself.
Setting values and expectation that you believe in and live up to