Updated: Sep 9, 2020
The Seventh House – Your Shadow Self
The seventh house in astrology is an angular house that is ruled by Libra and the planet Venus. It is also considered a cardinal air house. The seventh house is directly across the wheel from the first house, which is your identity and your ascendant sign. The first house deals with your identity and the mask that you portray to the world. The seventh house is how you identify in relationships and the side of you that you conceal from the world. It could also be considered the house of how you are able or not able to form connections with others.
Whatever sign this house is in is also your descendant sign. Your descendant sign is often referred to as your “shadow self”. Your shadow self is qualities in yourself that you reject and you may be unaware that these are qualities you actually possess. Although these are qualities you are in denial about, you subconsciously will seek out people who have these behaviors and they, in turn, show you your true self if only you are able to reflect on why these qualities actually drive you insane. Many astrologers believe that the sign your seventh house is in is the sun sign of the people you attract the most as you need them to show you the things you avoid (subconsciously). You are attracting this sign since you are able to experience a piece of themselves through this other person.
This house rules relationships, marriage, friendships, career relationships, as well as your enemies and any kind of contracts you will have during this lifetime. Your traits (both hidden and straightforward) will determine the kind of love that you let into your life. Remember that you can only receive what you give, and this is true for yourself. If you do not love yourself and think you are an awful person you will attract people that share these same beliefs with you. With any enemies or hostile coworkers/friends you have, you must reflect on what it is in these people that drive you insane. Do they have qualities that you wish you had or are they actually mirroring qualities you’ve spent years burying and pretending don’t exist? Even though this is the house of relationships, it is more what these relationships bring out in you.
Sometimes it is extremely difficult to be able to look at yourself and realize where improvement needs to be made. It could be how you have no boundaries with your family and friends, how you critique people because of what is hidden in your shadow, you could take things out on people who are not to blame, you could be very selfish. When we are trapped in patterns and repetitions, we tend to no longer question what our “normal” is. Once we enter a relationship, and get past the point of our ascendants/mask, and are truly us, the other person is able to start to see why we are behaving certain ways. They are able to show us that things we thought were normal are actually hindering our lives. It is through them that we are able to take the necessary steps and accept and resolve the conflict in our shadow self. Through love, although sometimes extremely difficult, we learn to love ourselves.
Since this is the house of your shadow, any planet or transit in this chart can also be considered a shadow planet. These planets are unknown to you and could possibly be the result of suppressing trauma. For example, if you have Pluto in your seventh house, you could think that you need to have the perfect partner and your relationship needs to look a certain way in order to thrive. While in a relationship your partner could be able to tell you that this “certain way” is actually leading to your misery and you can just be yourself. By breaking down these barriers and realizing perfection does not exist, you are able to engage in a deeper love since there is no longer a check list.
Sometimes it takes an extremely difficult situation/relationship to realize that it is not everyone else, but it is only ourselves.